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Thru My Looking Glass

2/22/2018

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We call B.S.”
—Emma Gonzalez ( Marjory Stoneman Douglas survivor)


Many years ago, when the Vietnam war was raging, and America’s teens faced the draft and entrance into a war that they didn’t believe in, they began to unite. They realized that they were the casualties that the politicians were allowing to fall for the benefit of their adult pride and their adult pockets. The youth watched as their brothers and friends came home injured, mentally broken or worse, in a box, and they said No More. They peacefully demonstrated. They staged sit-ins and anti-war rallies. They rang bells and called out names of the fallen. They were dragged away, they were arrested and in one case they were shot at and watched four of there own fall dead on a college campus, but when it was over, the Vietnam War was halted. They had made a difference and that will not be forgotten.

When on Valentines Day, 2018, a disgruntled youth used his legally owned semi-automatic weapon to kill seventeen teens and teachers, once again pride and money stood in the way of sense and reasonable actions. Once again politicians insisted that this was not the time for discussion but rather the time for thoughts and prayers. Once again we need a group of people willing to fight the good fight until something is done. Over eighty percent of Americans, republicans and democrats, believe that we need some form of protection from guns being sold willy-nilly to anyone, any age, in many states. Even those who sadly feel the need for a hand gun for protection don’t agree with semi-automatic weapons being easier to get than cold medicine.

Our constitutional amendments are not absolutes. The original ten were written over two centuries ago in a very different world than we live in today. The men who wrote them were smart enough to leave room for adaptation. The first amendment prevents congress from making any law “respecting an establishment of religion,” or “prohibiting the free exercise of religion.” In the 1940’s this was interpreted to put a wall between church and state. Freedom of speech rights were modified in the 20th and 21st century and referred to as “exceptions to the 1st Amendment.” I have to assume that if Thomas Jefferson experienced any foreshadowing of the Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School (MSD) massacre, he would have amended the 2nd amendment before it was presented.

The NRA must protect the gun manufacturers, and they are doing so at your expense. They are spending millions of dollars annually to advertise, to “support” candidates who then are beholden to them, and to scare the public into feeling they need to be armed to survive. Thankfully most of the public see through these tactics, BUT they are still voting in politicians who are financially beholden to the NRA. At some point this has to stop!

I have never been a one issue voter, and I have never before voted for someone just because he/she represents my party. I have always been careful to study each candidate’s agenda and vote for the one who best represents my interests. My interests now are centered around protecting those who are in danger. I am a former teacher...my daughter, friends and relatives spend every day in classrooms around America. Today I texted Beth and casually asked, “what’s going on there.” She quickly responded, “Why, what have you heard.” How sad is that?

Yes, once again we need a vocal group of people, and once again I believe the answer lies with our youth. These brave children who faced a torrent of bullets on a day they should have been exchanging candy hearts have decided to pick up the mantle that their grandparents carried fifty years ago. They are speaking out. They are marching and gathering followers along the way. They are promising NO MORE, and I believe them. I am proud of these young men and women, and for the first time in a long time I feel a spark of hope.

Those who answer our children’s cries with the suggestion to arm their teachers need to step back and realize what they are suggesting. Teacher’s are not marksmen, they are protectors. They will hold your children’s hands, and when necessary, like MSD geography teacher Scott Beigel they will stand in between your children and a hail of bullets, but they should never be asked to take up arms as part of their daily duties. The stress of those moments could prove disastrous for any educator expected to accurately fire a weapon.

Our children need our help, however, or the horror they experienced and the bravery they exhibited will be for naught. They need us to vote with our heads and our hearts. If you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend of a child who spends much of his/her day in a classroom, then please vote for the candidates who will not be influenced by their wallets. Please understand that arming teachers will heighten the dangers that they face every day. Please know that you are already sliding on the “slippery slope” that you fear will take away your rights. This slope, however, has taken away your rights to feel that your children are safe and replaced it with the ability of mentally suspicious people to collect arsenals in the name of constitutional rights. Please do more than just agree that we need gun control...please join these teens, Call B.S. and vote in responsible candidates and make this Parkland shooting represent the last school shooting in America.

Needing a little escapism reading, I turned to Brad Meltzer’s newest book, The Escape Artist, and I found myself unable to put it down. Meltzer has a way with characterization, and both of his protagonists seemed to jump off of the pages as I read late into the night. Nora Brown is an Artist-in-Residence with the military, and Jim "Zig" Zigarowski, an artist in his own right, rebuilds the dead so their families can have closure. The story Meltzer builds around these two makes it a remarkable adventure for his readers.

As always, a complete review of this book follows my blog.

Happy reading,

- Beverly
​Click on the book cover to order the title mentioned in today's blog
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The Escape Artist by Brad Meltzer

2/22/2018

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Genre: Thriller
​Click book cover for Amazon.com
Wow! Brad Meltzer captured me with this one, and I hated to turn that last page. As always, his characterization is so strong that the reader feels an instant connection. In The Escape Artist, Meltzer offers up two protagonists with backstories that clarify most of their actions. They are both so complicated that peeling back their layers made for one great read.

Nola Brown is an artist. She has spent several years as an artist-in-residence with the military, affording her the ability to go where she pleases and draw what she chooses as long as she also does the assignments that she is given. Could be a nice life, but there is no nice life for Nola. The flashbacks show us a childhood of terror and a little girl who uses torture to grow stronger.

A military plane crashes, and Nola is dead...or is she?

Jim "Zig" Zigarowski, an artist in his own right, rebuilds the dead so their families can have closure. He works in Dover, Delaware, helping to put to rest those who died during top secret missions. When the bodies from the recent crash arrive, and he sees the name Nola Brown, he remembers that she was the member of his daughter’s (Maggie) scout troop and saved Maggie from injury years ago. Zig quickly realizes that the body is not Nola’s, and so the story begins to build.

Meltzer’s historical additions to his thrillers are always a bonus, and this one was especially interesting to me. He references Houdini and his magic and tells the reader how it relates to our government today. The entanglement of politics and magic kept me turning pages well into the night, as the story built to an exciting climax.

Meltzer is a masterful storyteller who really hits the mark with this one. Although I usually want to see a sequel to the books I enjoy, he did such a good job winding it up that I think I would prefer not seeing these characters again. I am having too much fun imagining what they are up to as time goes on and can’t wait to meet the next cast of characters that come from Meltzer’s creative mind.

-Beverly


Publisher - Grand Central Publishing
Date of Publication - ​March 6, 2018
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Thru My Looking Glass

2/15/2018

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​“some of our policymakers need to look in the mirror and take some action, because without action, ideas stay ideas and children die.”

—David Hogg ( mass shooting survivor 2/14/18)


Valentine’s Day is a day for hearts, flowers, candy and love. It is a day when elementary school children exchange those little packets of Valentine Cards, middle school kids pick secret pals to exchange candy hearts with, and high school kids send each other “Valentine-grams.” It is 45 days into the year. It is a month and a half worth of all that the new year has to offer.

Once again, however, our hearts have more reason to cry than to rejoice. A high school in Broward County Florida, approximately 30 minutes from my house and 10 minutes from the school I taught at, joined the horrific club of schools that have encountered mass shootings. A troubled youth, an expelled student, returned to the school with a semi-automatic weapon and began shooting. As of now, we know that at least seventeen people were killed and many more injured. This marks the eighteenth school shooting in the United States this year, an average of one every sixty hours. How do we go on? How do we send our children and grand children to school tomorrow? What can we do?

I am sure that you expect me to go on about gun control, but I don’t believe that that is the only answer to these terrifying school shootings. You see, while I am a strong proponent of gun control and can list many reasons why, I believe in these cases the shooters would have found guns to use whether or not we controlled the use of weapons. It is deeper than gun ownership here. We need to get a handle on bullying in schools, depression in our youth and mental illness on the whole.

It is sometimes easy for an overworked teacher or parent to overlook a student who is dealing with bullying. We tell the children to “play nice” and we return to our busy schedules. The victim of bullying is left to fend for himself/herself. Most people suffer in silence and somehow come out the other end. There are those few however, whose lives are so dismal that the bullying becomes the straw that breaks their backs. They break, and these broken souls get back at the world in a way that has been shown to them over and over...with violence and weapons.

Mental illness, whether hereditary or learned, makes life difficult for its sufferers. Since it is not easily recognized...it doesn’t cause a rash, a runny nose, a hacking cough or a fever...it is easy to overlook or downplay the victim’s suffering. Our country doesn’t handle it well. Years ago the Reagan administration felt the need to cut spending and targeted funding for the mentally ill. They did away with a law that would have continued funding federal community health centers and eliminated services for those struggling with mental illnesses. That was harmful then and is harmful now. We all suffer when mental illness goes unchecked, and because of the stigma attached to it, most people are reluctant to seek help. Every school should fund a full time psychologist who might recognize and help a student like Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooter Nikolas Cruz.

Cruz had recently lost his mother and his home. He was expelled from the high school he attacked, and was showing signs of depression and mental illness. He was such a classic case of a young man set to explode, that it is hard to fathom why no one came to the rescue. On the other hand, as a high school teacher, I saw dozens of students each year who seemed on the brink of an emotional breakdown. I spoke to their parents and often directed them to counseling, but I never contacted the FBI. Was I remiss? Each school should make sure that every teacher has a yearly refresher inservice course that teaches them how to recognize a major problem and where to go for help.

To stop these mass shootings, we need to stop bullying each other and start recognizing those who need help, and we NEED TO TAKE SEMI AUTOMATIC WEAPONS OFF THE STREETS. What is wrong with our politicians in Florida. This state does not require a license to purchase a gun. In fact, before we vote for our next set of officials, I would like to show those in Florida the laws that we live under now.
Picture
​Although I do not want one, I accept some people’s desire for hand guns for protection, but  not semi-automatic weapons, and for those of you, Republican or Democrat, who have loved ones who attend schools, concerts, theaters or walk the streets, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!! Please vote responsibly.

I could not sleep last night, and I probably won’t sleep tonight. I spent many a weekend with my debate team at Marjory Stoneman Douglas, and there are no words to express my emotions right now. My thoughts and prayers are with them and with all of us who lived to see another day where sanity took a vacation.

Since I do not have the heart to write a review on the murder mystery I read this week, I will share this little book I read for fun. Frumpy to Fabulous: Flaunting It. Your Ultimate Guide to Effortless Style (Revised Edition) written by Natalie Jobity, is a perfect book for those who want to work on making their wardrobe fabulous without breaking the bank.

As always, a complete review of this book follows this blog.

Happy reading,

- Beverly
​Click on the book cover to order the title mentioned in today's blog
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Frumpy to Fabulous: Flaunting It - Your Ultimate Guide to Effortless Style (Revised Edition) by Natalie Jobity

2/15/2018

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Genre: Self-Help
Click book cover for Amazon.com
All women (and men) want to look fabulous, and imaging consultant Natalie Jobity’s book, Frumpy to Fabulous: Flaunting It - Your Ultimate Guide to Effortless Style is a road map for those of us who aren’t sure how to achieve that fabulous appearance.  Her writing style is easy, and she pulls her readers in by asking questions that make them think.

I spend a great deal of time in my closet complaining that I have nothing to wear. Before me lies a myriad of shirts, skirts, dresses, etc, yet nothing seems to go together. Obviously I am not alone, and Jobity decided to capitalize (in a good way) on our weaknesses. Instead of assuming that her readers all have unlimited funds, she tells us how to save money. If you shop smartly, you can buy one piece, match it with something in your closet, and suddenly you look “fabulous.”

I love the part that tells us to “learn to love the skin we are in.” We all have positive and negative attributes, and if we focus on the negative the mirror becomes our enemy. According to this book, we average seeing our reflection at least 55 times a day. If we hate what me see that becomes pretty demoralizing. Jobity explains how we can flaunt what we never realized we had, rather than hiding everything under baggy clothing.

There are segments on accessorizing, dressing for various occasions and being the best we can be. She goes over the six basic body shapes and how we should dress for the shape we carry. She gives us examples of celebrities with our shape and anecdotes about other women who embraced their type and improved their look.
Dress to look taller or slimmer and feel beautiful instead of frumpy.

I had fun reading through this book and went on a mini shopping spree. I purchased a few shirts to go with my older skirts, and suddenly had two newish outfits. I am belt hunting now, hoping to dress up my denim. While I didn’t learn anything startlingly new, the hints are helpful, and hopefully will contribute to a fabulous new me.

- Beverly
​

Publisher - Elan Image Management, LLC
Date of Publication - ​November 27, 2013
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Thru My Looking Glass

2/8/2018

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Unless someone like you
Cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better.
It’s not.
—the Lorax

Our children desperately need you to care a whole awful lot. There are so many issues occupying our minds of late, that education has been shoved to the back burner for many of us. I can not stress enough exactly how much we need to take back the educational system in our country. My love of the classroom was known by everyone who came in contact with me, and if someone like me can be emotionally driven from the job that she adored, then things have got to change. Our schools are being depleted of many of the brightest and most caring educators, because those are the ones who can not conform to a system that works against our children.

The “teach to the test” mentality is pervasive, and in many cases the “test” is an exercise in futility. Teachers are no longer being lauded for their creativity and ability to awaken a child’s love of learning. They are now being judged on the test performance of students who have no desire to perform. They are being encouraged to channel all students to move towards a college degree, even if a career in welding or Air-conditioner repair would much more suit their talents and abilities. The problem is, when teacher’s are forced to go against their instincts about what is right, bad things occur.

For example, in an NPR article entitled "What Really Happened At The School Where Every Graduate Got Into College," we learned that in one of Washington D.C.’s poorest neighborhoods, Ballou High School graduated 164 students, and they all were accepted into colleges. Sounds great, right? Not so much! Yes the students were accepted to colleges, but many of them should not have been graduating. The school district has an absentee policy that says you can’t pass if you miss more than thirty days of school. Research found that half of the graduates missed more than three months last year. Twenty percent of them missed more than ninety days.

Two months before graduation only 57 students were on track to graduate. How then did 164 students walk that aisle two months later? Teacher’s were pressured by the administration to pass the students. They were encouraged to give students 50% on assignments that weren’t even handed in according to this article. This doesn’t surprise me, because similar occurrences went on in schools right here in Florida.

In Ballou High School, according to this article, when it looked like a student just couldn’t pass a class, they were put in an accelerated version of the class. After a few weeks of these after school classes, they received passing grades. This was against county written policy, but the administration felt pressured from the county, so they put pressure on the teachers.

I wish I could say these incidents were peculiar to this school, but this pressure put on students and teachers runs rampant. Years ago I was badgered to pass a failing football player. I explained that I would not change his grades or give him easier exams, but I would gladly stay after school and tutor him. I was told that that would interfere with football. I was so badly pressured that I called the parent and explained the situation. I asked if she wanted me to just push her son through or give him an education? She called the principal and insisted that her son be handled like every other student, and that they find the time to let me tutor him. He did pass that year, but in all of my years in that school, they never put another football player in my English class.

Not only are teachers being forced to teach to the test and pass students who have not mastered needed skills, but the powers that be are removing the classes that have always helped to round out the students. As I watched them remove art, music and drama classes to make room for classes aimed towards the tests that proved very little, I saw the students become robot like, stressed and unhappy. When they told me that Julius Caesar was no longer required because there was no time for both Shakespeare and “fact or opinion” type questions, I realized I was losing the battle.

I have been out of the classroom for several years now, and although I do not want to return, I miss watching students light up when they understood a premise I was teaching or the point of a novel they were reading. I want to believe that things can change, and students can once again feel the joy in a perfect poem, or spend time proving or disproving the hypothesis of their science projects ( many schools did away with science fair projects because they took time from learning the nuts and bolts of a test).

None of this will change, however, until parents, grandparents, teachers, the media and students themselves work together to facilitate the change. The media must stop focusing on the one in one hundred thousand teachers who physically, emotionally or sexually abuses a child, and instead focus on those who make a difference every day. Feature those that spend their own money and their personal hours doing everything in their power to build their students' self-esteem, knowledge base and future. Teachers need to stand up against a system that is tearing down those children we have promised to educate. Parents and grandparents need to support their children and the teachers who devote their hours to educate them.  They need to vote for politicians who see more than test scores when they look at our children, and our children need to start caring about their educational roads to the future. Together we can change the destructive direction that this teach to the test attitude seems to be taking.

In The Ritual Bath by Faye Kellerman, Detective Peter Decker “cares a whole awful lot.” This first book in an exciting, heartwarming series begins with the rape of an orthodox Jewish woman as she leaves a ritual bath. Decker meets up with Rina Lazarus, and we are privy to the beginning of a wonderful team. Kellerman has spent the last thirty-two years allowing us to take part in the wonderful adventures and relationship of these two, and if you have yet to meet them...what are you waiting for?

As always, a complete review of this book follows my blog.

Happy reading,

- Beverly
​Click on the book cover to order the title mentioned in today's blog
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The Ritual Bath: The First Decker/Lazarus Novel by Faye Kellerman

2/8/2018

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Genre: Mystery
Click book cover for Amazon.com
Many years ago I was fortunate enough to happen upon The Ritual Bath by Faye Kellerman. It was the beginning of a long journey for me, as I happily read subsequent books that took me through the lives of Rina Lazarus and Peter Decker. I just rediscovered this book and enjoyed it as much as I did the first time, so I decided to review it again, fifteen or so years after I did the first time.

I will try my best not to give away anything from later books, but I will say that these are two of the most wonderful characters that I have had the pleasure of getting to know. In this book we meet Rina as a young widow with two children. She is an ultra-orthodox Jewish resident of an ultra-conservative community in California. She is bright and brave and willing to speak to Detective Peter Decker about the crime that others are trying to keep hidden.

Decker is a somewhat intense Detective and is horrified to hear that a woman was brutally raped when returning from the mikvah (bathhouse) after a ritual cleansing was performed. Rina called in the crime and calmly explained what happened to the Detective. Together they will get to the bottom of a crime that turned this peaceful and secluded neighborhood upside down.

Kellerman handles the explanation of orthodox beliefs and rituals in such an interesting way, that the reader gets a top grade education while taking part in the solving of a brutal crime. She also does a great job mixing the beliefs of two religious opposites and helps them to find common ground to work (and maybe even play) together. Watching their relationship build was one of my favorite parts of this story.

As Decker digs deeper into his investigation and begins wondering who the intended victim might have been, his emotions start getting in his way, and he will stop at nothing until he successfully solves the mystery before him.

- Beverly
​

Publisher - William Morrow
Date of Publication - ​October 13, 2009 (reprint edition)
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Thru My Looking Glass

2/2/2018

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“Never be a prisoner of your past. It was just a lesson, not a life sentence.”
--lessonslearnedinlife.com

I couldn’t find the author of this quotation, but it fit right in with a conversation Arthur and I had yesterday. Through the years I have had friends and acquaintances who allowed the resentment of their past to stand in the way of the future they deserved. Interestingly enough, in my experience, men seem to have a harder time letting go than women.

We all have things in our childhood that negatively affected the adult we became. Some were just happenstance, and some were faults of our parents, but continuing to blame our parents makes little sense. On the day Michael was born I was slapped in the face with the realization that no one gave me a manual. The doctor put this squirming bundle in my arms and said, “he is a beautiful baby; enjoy him,” and he left the room. I had no one to give him to, no one to give me instructions and no where to return him if I made a mistake.

That was the day that I forgave my parents for all of the mistakes they made. I realized that they loved me from the minute I was born, and they did the best that their individual personalities allowed. I was raised by two anxious and overprotective parents. I was not permitted to ride a bike, a sled or any vehicle that exceeded two miles an hour. I was not allowed to get in a car with a friend or date if there was snow in the forecast, and was never allowed to go out on New Years Eve. I was, in fact, led to believe that anytime I entered a car I was risking my life, and any boy I dated was a potential rapist.

Of course I resented the restrictions, but even then I understood that they were manifestations of my parents anxieties that they were unable to control. Of course after eighteen years of living under these conditions, I developed a list of my own anxieties. Luckily Arthur helped me see that most of the restrictions my anxieties called for were unfair to Mike and Beth, and I tempered my fears. When they became overwhelming, my wonderful children patiently stayed home from the object of my anxieties. Did they resent me? Probably! Are they plagued with the family anxiety curse? Unfortunately? They do, however, understand that my love for them is without bounds, and everything I did was out of that overwhelming love. Once you understand that, you can let go of resentment and appreciate the good in your past.

Part of the quote that began last week’s blog stated:
        “...the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of                  circumstances, to choose one’s own way."
I believe in those words with all of my heart. The poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley finishes off with the lines:
         “I am the master of my fate:
          I am the captain of my soul.”
If we live our lives believing that, then we can control our future and better handle our past. We can’t change what occurred in our younger years, but we can control how we react to it. I might never agree with some of my parents decisions, but it is time to put more than our childhood toys away. It is time to put our childhood resentments to rest and enjoy the world that we now live in. I have done so rather successfully and hope Michael and Beth have done the same.

One important thing that we should have learned as children is the art of negotiating. We start out as toddlers, crying and kicking when we don’t get what we want. Then we learn how to manipulate our parents with a cute smile or quick hug. Eventually we learn the benefits of give and take. For those who never got the knack, Mary Greenwood’s book, How to Negotiate Like a Pro, is just the book for you. Even if you think you have the knack, Greenwood shares many tricks that will help you achieve your goal.

As always, a complete review of this book follows my blog.

Happy reading,

- Beverly
​Click on the book cover to order the title mentioned in today's blog
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How to Negotiate Like a Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes by Mary Greenwood, JD, LLM

2/1/2018

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​Genre: Non-fiction
​Click book cover for Amazon.com
My days as a debater/debate coach taught me the importance of looking at both sides before starting your argument. If you understand what your opponent wants, you always have a better chance of making your point. In How to Negotiate Like a Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Mary Greenwood thinks like a good debater and makes the art of negotiation seem easy.

When we talk about negotiating, many people think of business first and foremost. Greenwood teaches us that everything is a negotiation, and doing it correctly can save us money, time and heartache. We negotiate with spouses, our children and sales people. We negotiate with bosses, underlings and clients. If we are to be successful in these negotiations, then it stands to reason that we take advice from an expert.

Greenwood is just such an expert as she teaches us to determine goals and maintain focus in achieving these goals. She gives us rules, examples and even an index of terms. She tells us how to apologize and how to walk away from a negotiation. She explains the tactics involved with negotiating with a narcissist or a liar. She even helps with negotiating on the phone (start the conversation with “I need your help” so the person you are speaking to feels like part of the team that will solve your problem), and on line.

As an attorney she is obviously quite experienced with workplace negotiations, and generously shares her experiences with her readers. While this is not a Saturday afternoon beach read, the author has made an effort to write an easily understandable book that can help her readers navigate the more difficult roads of life.

- Beverly
​

Publisher - iUniverse
Date of Publication - October 16, 2017
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