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Thru My Looking Glass

3/31/2017

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"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."
                                                          ---Aristotle Onassis


Couched between the stories of political disasters every day, I have been reading stories that have made me realize that we will be just fine.  While on one hand there are groups of people trying to deport immigrants, on the other hand we read about people opening there homes to strangers in order to keep families together.  We read about college presidents declaring campuses as sanctuaries for their students, and mayors declaring entire cities as sanctuaries.

While many of President Obama's environmental advances have been decimated with this new administration, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos and other tech billionaires have banded together to work towards saving our environment.  We can see that for every one enormously wealthy person who is only interested in padding his/her bank account, there are three more who spend their money to make our world a better place.

For every place of worship that is torn down, I read about the hundred people who stand ready with hammers to rebuild a stronger structure.  For every despicable group that spews hatred of some minority, there grows ten more groups that open their hearts to everybody.  They do it through peaceful marches and boycotts and full-hearted acceptance.  Last year North Carolina passed a law preventing transgender people from using the bathroom of the gender that they identify with, and groups throughout the country stood tall against this law.  North Carolina lost a great deal financially when businesses refused to move there and sports teams refused to play there.  A deal has just been made to repeal this law that attempts to regulate bathroom choice.

Though funds are being slashed by the government as far as medical advances are concerned, wealthy individuals are contributing large sums to keep the research going. Donations for groups such as Planned Parenthood have reached astronomical totals as they continue to be supported by people from all walks of life.  Between the Presidential election and February 1, 2017, 400,000 people made donations to Planned Parenthood, and in the span of one weekend the ACLU received donations totaling 24 million dollars.  

I know that these are troubling times, but our news is filled with ordinary people doing extraordinary things to help their fellow man.  If we follow Mr. Onassis' advice and focus on the light rather than the darkness, than we will have the strength to get through the most troubling of times.

Of course to get through these times, we must have a few good books to read.  This week I really enjoyed reading The Marriage Pact by Michelle Richmond.  This part love story and part thriller with a small part horror thrown in, kept my interest throughout its thought- provoking pages.  When does a group become a cult?  What must we give up in order to maintain that perfect marriage that often seems so elusive.  This book that is due out in June definitely deserves a place in your summer reading library.

I also spent time reading an interesting book on retirement and found it chock full of helpful financial hints. Retired Broke: How to Fix Your Retirement by Randy and Jane Kirk is definitely worthwhile for anyone who wants to learn how to save and spend their money during retirement.  Their advice on saving while traveling, finding a home and even medical procedures can help you enjoy the golden years of your life.

As always complete reviews of these books follow this blog.
​Happy reading,

- Beverly
Click on the book cover to order a title mentioned in today's blog:
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Retired Broke: How to Fix Your Retirement by Randy and Jane Kirk

3/30/2017

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Genre: Non-Fiction
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From the day we start our first job, we are told to think about retirement.  Part of each paycheck should be earmarked for some sort of retirement fund, even though the government is taking a portion of our check for our retirement also.  While beginning early is prudent advice, it is not always practical.  During our younger years expenses can be high, and when forced to choose between retirement savings and food for our children, the choice seems clear.

Most people reach retirement age with little or no savings, and those dreams of early retirement remain only dreams. Authors Randy and Jane Kirk realized pretty quickly that what they thought would be enough just wasn't.  Inflation and unexpected expenses can quickly drain a savings account, and depending on social security can be risky.  They decided to write a book to help those who realize too late that they need help.

Retired Broke: How to Fix Your Retirement is filled with a great deal of common sense ideas that many people don't think about.  There are sections that cover housing, medical issues, vacationing and many other things that one might not think about when planning for retirement. There are many money-saving tips that I also found helpful, though some were certainly not things I would chose to do.  Although renting out a room in our home would provide us income, living with a stranger wouldn't work for me.  

That being said, I do believe in different strokes for different folks, and each of their suggestions will work for someone.  I especially liked their use of the internet.  With most of their suggestions they added web addresses to sites that will help the reader reach their goals.  In today's day and age those addresses are sometimes the most valuable thing we can be given.

When we plan vacations we look through guide books to make sure we are getting the most for our money.  It would seem to me that planning for retirement needs just as much help, and I think the Kirk's book is a good place to start.

​- Beverly


Publisher - Frugal Frog Enterprises, LLC
Date of Publication - ​February 26, 2015
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The Marriage Pact: A Novel by Michelle Richmond

3/30/2017

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Genre: Fiction
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Statistics are not favorable where marriage is concerned, and both Jake and Alice worry about maintaining their happily ever after.  When a client of Alice's shows an interest in her upcoming wedding, she invites him to attend, and his gift is a strange one.  He is sponsoring the newlyweds in an exclusive club for married couples who are determined to stay married forever.  They sign a contract and are given a large manual to memorize.  The rules are intense and the punishments for failure to uphold them are harsh.  They quickly realize their mistake, but unfortunately there is no easy escape.

The Marriage Pact: A  Novel drew me in immediately, and author Michelle Richmond's style of writing made it difficult to put down.  I did wonder why attorney Alice didn't look deeper into this agreement before committing them, but I decided to just chalk that up to a form of literary license.  While some of the rules seemed easy enough, always answer your spouse's phone call, a set amount of vacations together, and a monthly exchange of thought out gifts, the punishments for breaking the rules built in intensity and became outlandish.

This book is a bit horror, a bit psychological thriller and a bit of a love story, and the reader needs to allow for several inconsistencies to really appreciate what this clever author is presenting.  She definitely gives us a great deal to think about as far as determining what constitutes a good marriage.  It is true that even the most loving of couples can begin to take each other for granted, and an occasional little gift or an extra bit of attention can bring a couple closer, but somehow being forced into being attentive seems wrong.

Although the punishments were a bit over the top for me, I found this book to be a definite page turner and  recommend it for anyone looking for something a little different.

_ Beverly

Publisher -Bantam 
Date of Publication - ​July 25, 2017
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Thru My Looking Glass

3/23/2017

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"We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others."
---Will Rogers


I do not take politics of the world lightly, and I examine all aspects of something before I make a decision.  I see gray more often than black and white and believe compromise is an important part of most decisions.  I am stubborn though, and am not quick to admit that I am wrong.  Unfortunately, I had to admit my mistake to Arthur today, while discussing a topic we had oft times debated.

In 1961 President John F. Kennedy introduced Affirmative Action to a country that badly needed it. Despite our constitution and Civil Rights laws, discrimination was a way of life in our country and needed to be redressed.  After Kennedy's untimely death, Lyndon Johnson saw that it was enforced. It was meant to be a temporary fix that would assure that minorities were afforded the same rights that white Americans had been enjoying in areas that should never have allowed discrimination.

Affirmative Action was never easy.  Minorities were often accepted into schools or jobs even though they were less qualified than a white applicant, but many times they were less qualified because they were not offered equal education or opportunities.  It was far from perfect, but in the fifties and sixties bigotry was so rampant that it was necessary.  Black people were being under-paid and under-promoted because of race alone and were unable to raise their standard of living without enforced equality.

I supported Affirmative Action through the years and defended it whenever people proclaimed it a reverse form of bigotry.  About fifteen years ago however, my debate team had a discussion about college entry requirements. Several of our African American team members were vehemently against it.  They explained that they worked hard to maintain high GPA's and involve themselves in extracurricular activities and wanted to be accepted to colleges on their merit alone.  They were tired of people believing that the only way they could succeed was with assistance.

I thought it over and decided that I agreed with them.  They were bright, successful human beings who deserved to be measured on their merit.  After all, we certainly weren't living in the era of untethered bigotry anymore.  Rarely did we see 1950's type of hatred spewing from the mouths of thoughtless bigots.   Affirmative Action was always supposed to be a temporary fix, wasn't it? Life had changed in America...hadn't it?

Unfortunately, I realize now that the changes were cosmetic.  Like the Cover Girl make-up that covered the teenage acne that lay hidden beneath the surface of some young faces, bigotry lay hidden beneath the smiles of too many people who surround us on a daily basis. As soon as the Supreme Court took away the voting laws, bigoted politicians found a way to rig the system in their favor.  As soon as a presidential candidate opened the door to bigoted thinking as a way of "protecting Americans," bigots came out of the woodwork, spewing a type of hatred that I believed was long gone.  These people no longer feel that they have to hide their true feelings, and the burning and vandalizing of mosques and synagogues are every day occurrences.  The bigots are proud of their bigotry, and I feel like it is the 1950's all over again.

Here it is, 2017, and I say that I was wrong.  We do need Affirmative Action!  More importantly, we need our silent MAJORITY of humanitarians to take a page from their parents' and grandparents' book and stand up for the equality we all deserve. As Will Rogers says, it is only then we will live in true civilization.

Will Rogers' ability to put our thoughts and emotions into words always fascinated me, and I decided to read/review American Legends: The Life of Will Rogers by Charles River Editors.  The book is short, almost pamphlet like, but it gives a nice overview of an honest and funny man who believed in equality for all. 

Speaking of equality, Separate Is Never Equal: Sylvia Mendez and Her Family's Fight for Desegregation (Jane Addams Award Book (Awards) by Duncan Tonatiuh is an important addition to all young children's libraries.  It is written for elementary school age children, but it is a wonderful lesson for us all.  This fight for integration that took place ten years before Brown vs the Board of Education introduces a family that was willing to fight for what was rightfully theirs... integration!

As always, complete reviews of these two books follow this blog.

Happy reading,

-Beverly
​Click on the book cover to order a title mentioned in today's blog:
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Separate Is Never Equal: Sylvia Mendez and Her Family's Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh

3/23/2017

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Genre: Non-Fiction/Children's
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The topic of Affirmative Action always brings up debate, and sometimes it is difficult for us to understand the need for it.  I believe that it is important for everyone to understand the background of integration, and the best place to start is in the home.  Separate Is Never Equal: Sylvia Mendez and Her Family's Fight for Desegregation is a wonderfully written and illustrated book about a young girl who fought to integrate schools years before the famous Brown vs the Board of Education decision.

When her family moved to Westminster, California in the 1940's, Sylvia and her brother were told that they had to attend the Mexican School.  The dilapidated school was next to a cow field, with no playground and teachers who seemed unmotivated.  This children's book takes its readers through this family's fight to integrate schools.  With the help of other families and the NAACP, the Mendez family won battles and broke the ground for battles to follow. 

The story is concisely told, well translated when needed and beautifully illustrated.  Even the cover tells a story that children can relate to, and I think that this is a great addition to every youngster's library.

-Beverly

​
Publisher - Abrams Books for Young Readers  
Date of Publication - ​May 6, 2014
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American Legends: The Life of Will Rogers by Charles River Editors

3/23/2017

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Genre: Biography
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Will Rogers was a writer, an actor, a politician and an amazing master of words.  His many quotes are legendary and have taken us through the best and worst of times.  He was able to put our hopes, dreams and fears into words that generally made us smile.  Although he died in 1935, his political musings ring true today.

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." – Will Rogers.

Anybody who has picked up a newspaper or watched the news during this past year can relate to those words.  American Legends: The Life of Will Rogers is an interesting biography about a fascinating man.  It begins with a bit of family history and goes on to tell the tale of a man whose life was cut short in an airplane crash.  He packed a great deal into his fifty-five years though, and his name is familiar to generations who followed.

We see a man who came from wealth but never exploited it.  He was down to earth and honest, and although he often joked about politics, he was never mean spirited. He spoke often and strongly about freedom of speech and religion, and he believed in equality for all. 

This book is very short, 34 pages, and left me wanting more.  It is simply written, but gives us quite a few relevant facts about Rogers.  For example, I never realized that his mother died when he was ten, and though he rarely spoke about it, that loss colored his life.  If you want to know some basic facts and stories about this American legend, I recommend this book.

-Beverly

​
​Publisher - CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform 
Date of Publication - ​​November 27, 2013
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Thru My Looking Glass

3/17/2017

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"Listen to the desires of your children. Encourage them and then give them the autonomy to make their own decisions."
                        ---Denis Waitley 


The first book I read/reviewed this week, Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey by Betty Degeneres, supported several of my long held beliefs.  Her initial reaction to her young daughter's "coming out" showed both vulnerability and strength.  Like most parents, when she noticed tears in her daughter's eyes, her first reaction was to comfort her.  We, as parents, automatically want to "make it better."  We will fight the biggest monsters to save out children because we realize early on that their smiles are what light up many of our days.

Even as she wiped Ellen's tears though, she began to feel the loss of her own fantasy.  Her thoughts went to the disappointment at never seeing her daughter's picture on the engagement page of their local newspaper.  From the moment a child is placed into the arms of a waiting parent, that parent begins seeing a perfect future. Some parents put their children on lists for the "right" pre-school before the child is brought home from the hospital.  We picture high school and college graduations, sometimes law school or med school graduations, and brides with long flowing gowns.  We picture successful careers and beautiful grandchildren to spoil some day.  Those, however, are our fantasies and often fit nowhere into our children's dreams.  

That is okay, because all we really want is for our children to find happiness, and happiness comes in oh so many shapes and sizes.  Betty soon got over her disappointment, and spends her days working for The  Human Rights Campaign's Coming Out Project. The best way to help our children find happiness is to support their dreams instead of our own.  

My generation grew up believing that you aren't complete until you find AND MARRY your "soulmate."  We were supposed to choose our perfect companion before we were old enough to responsibly pick a car, and many of my generation suffered the consequences.  The divorce rate is over 50%, and many others continue to live in unhappy marriages.  Our children are a bit wiser.  They are not trying to beat the clock, and they marry only when they feel ready.  Their parents don't seem to have as much patience.  In any gathering of baby boomers, you will find mother's busily exchanging phone numbers of their children as they try to find their child a partner.  Their dreams are not your dreams folks. Let them live the lives they choose and be happy for them.

The second book I read, Heaven to Betsy (What Doesn't Kill You, #5): An Emily Romantic Mystery by Pamela Fagan Hutchins, begins with an annoying mother, but quickly evolves into a murder mystery.  Criminal-attorney Jack Holden hires Emily to help him track down a murderer and a missing child.  Although it got complicated in parts, it was a basically good read for those who enjoy cozy mysteries. 

As always, complete reviews of both books will follow this blog.

Happy reading,

-Beverly ​
​Click on the book cover to order a title mentioned in today's blog:
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Heaven to Betsy (What Doesn't Kill You, #5): An Emily Romantic Mystery  by Pamela Fagan Hutchins

3/17/2017

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Genre: Mystery
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Like most Cozy Mysteries, Heaven to Betsy (What Doesn't Kill You, #5): An Emily Romantic Mystery begins with a bar scene and a talk of mother issues and a wedding.  We meet Emily (who leaves a job in Dallas to come home to Amarillo) and she meets  criminal- attorney Jack Holden in chapter one.  We soon learn that Emily's husband dumped her and her religious mother is an annoying part of her life.​

It is not love at first sight for Emily where Jack is concerned, and when he offers her a job she initially refuses.  We meet hotel maid Sophia when she is found holding the gun that allegedly killed Spike Howard in the middle of a wedding reception.  Of course in typical cozy mystery style, Jack becomes her attorney, and Sophia is desperate to find her missing six year-old daughter. Things progress when Sophia is murdered in prison, and Emily agrees to help Jack in the search for the missing child.

The complications start piling up, and we are mired in too many characters in too many locations for my taste.  There is a definite mystery here, but I found myself losing interest in it as the story progressed.  The ending was weak, and I am not so sure I will read anymore of this series.  That being said, many readers enjoyed the book, and if you are a fan of these mysteries it might be an inexpensive way to introduce a new series into your collection.  Amazon is actually offering it for free this week, and there are definitely some parts that made me smile.

-Beverly


Publisher - SkipJack Publishing 
Date of Publication - February 22, 2017
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Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey by Betty DeGeneres

3/17/2017

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Genre: Memoir
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Parents have expectations for their children's future from the moment each child is placed in their arms.  The jokes about "my son, the doctor" ring true in many homes.  It is unfair for us to expect our children to fit into the mold of those expectations, but sometimes it takes parents a while to readjust to their new reality. Betty Degeneres does an excellent job sharing her emotions and telling the story of her life and the life of her daughter, Ellen, in Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey.

In a fictional account of Ellen's coming out, her mother might have offered to bake a cake and have a party, but in the real world, Betty walked along side her daughter in a moment of stunned silence.  When she saw the tears in Ellen's eyes she reacted as any mother should, and she comforted her while proclaiming her love for her daughter.  Then she questioned weather Ellen was perhaps mistaken.  It took quite a bit of time and patience on both sides for Betty to reach full acceptance, but through the journey their relationship remained consistent, and ultimately Betty has become a loud voice for The Human Rights Campaign's Coming Out Project.

This book tells Ellen's story, but more specifically it tells Betty's story, and I think that was her point in writing it.  She had her own difficulties with marriages and pinned many dreams on her children.  Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey follows Betty's life and shows us how to accept a different path when it is presented to us.  It is a well written book for the most part, although it did drag just a bit as I read the last half.  The reader gets a bit of insight into Ellen but even more insight into her mother, and I am sure that was Betty's intention in writing it.

-Beverly


Publisher - It Books 
Date of Publication - May 28, 2013
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Thru My Looking Glass

3/10/2017

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 “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” 
                                                          ---Ralph Waldo Emerson

We recently moved into a new home that is part of a beautiful new development.  We saw our land being cleared and then watched the house being built proverbial brick by brick.  We would come every day and met most of the workmen who came together to deliver the finished product. As I watched them, I was reminded of my years in the classroom.  I had noticed through those years that each group of students contained the achievers and the non-achievers, and it was attitude, not skill, that made the difference. The students who cared about the finished product that they would present always seemed to find a way to succeed, and were generally happy on the path that they took.  Those that were interested in getting there quickly and without care for the finished product, were those who complained the loudest over the life they had been handed.


We would drive to our partially built home each evening and find chewed up chicken bones, empty coke cans and dirty napkins all over the place.  There were dumpsters or trash receptacles every few feet throughout the development, but apparently our bathtub was much more tempting for chewed up apple cores and half eaten sandwiches.  The disrespect that some of these people had for our environment was equaled only by the disrespect they had for the job.

I understand that mistakes are made, but when they realized that the hole that was cut for the electrical receptacle in my gorgeous granite counter top was placed in a position that was unreachable, why did they install it anyway.  Or when the tile installer recognized that the wall behind the shower was visibly crooked, why did he tile over it without requesting it be straightened out?  Why did the cable company workmen put every cable box in crooked, so the front of our homes looked like a demolition derby had been run there?  Each of these things was corrected at the expense of the builder, but where was the pride of the workmen?

I will say that many of the workman took total pride in their work, and treated our home as though they were building their own.  Our project manager found mistakes that we missed and wouldn't let us close on our home until all was fixed. The couple who laid our tile flooring meticulously measured so each grout line would be perfect. Our finished product makes us happy each day, but I wonder about the people that just didn't care.

If, as Emerson stated, we become who we decide to be, then did these students  years ago, or the workmen who didn't care, decide one day that they would do inferior work throughout their lives?  Did they map out a future strewn with poor-quality work and decide that the mark that they left in the world would be a chicken bone?  I can't believe that, and so I think that there is a bit more to Emerson's description of one's future.  I think it is the support we get, and the lessons we learn that help guide us to our destiny.  The parents who teach us table manners and the value of a good day's work are the beginnings of our destiny.  

I hope Betty DeVos comes to realize that it is also the teachers who guide us through the largest parts of our days during our most formative years and help us with our destinies, and I hope the teachers realize that it is their moral obligation to offer us more than just the fundamentals of learning.  Some children have only their teachers to teach them the fundamentals of life.  Hopefully, together we can teach the generations to come that they must decide to become the best that they can be!

Speaking of being the best you can be, I enjoyed reading the memoir of a woman who is doing just that. At eighty-six years of age, Betty Halbreich shows us that she can still do that in her memoir, I'll Drink to That: A Life in Style, with a Twist.  She has spent the last forty years working as a personal shopper in Bergdorf Goodman, a job that she tailored for herself all those years ago.  This tale of her life and the clients whom she transforms was quite interesting and well worth reading.

My second choice this week was not quite as enjoyable, but it told an important bit of history that we need to be aware of when remembering those who were instrumental in the holocaust.  Tom Bower opens our eyes to Switzerland's contribution to the mayhem of one of the darkest parts of our history in his book, Nazi Gold: The Full Story of the Fifty-Year Swiss-Nazi Conspiracy to Steal Billions from Europe's Jews and Holocaust Survivors.  While trying to give the appearance of neutrality, Switzerland abetted the Nazi's and appropriated much of the money stolen from the victims of the holocaust.  Bower's research helped him write a powerful book that tells us that we can't always believe what is before our eyes.


As always complete reviews of both of these books follow this blog.
Happy reading,
- Beverly

​Click on the book cover to order a title mentioned in today's blog:
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